i got a couple of comments or so on my last entry, and i thought it best to look at things at a logical view (in my near profession, it is only proper, unless i treat my patients with undue regard and ill compassion, hehe. guess it depends on the patient), anyhu, il try to comment on the comments in a flowing manner... lets see how it goes...

'perfect guy is gay - too idealistic': too true, i being a proud member of the heterosexual orientation approve of this (partly bec im a bigot as well, so tough shit). what i dnt understand is how can a person oriented to attraction to same like be considered 'perfect'? doesnt that go against the rules of propagation and all that blah blah..? im not saying they dont have their uses, im just saying that there are too many uses with the appropriate imagination (unfortunately, nothing too pleasant). besides, with the gay people i know, majority are rather more "raunchy' then your garden issue, run of the mill guy (like me, but im not garden issue, cant stand 'rabbit fud', hehe)

'gems to be found, jst have to look at the sparkle": too true, optimism saves the day. im not saying that this is a fallacy or a waste of time. to be honest, i know one or two females that can be placed under this category: one is married, the other one, unfortunately, i had inadvertedly insulted, but shes stil near and very dear to me, so i guess, there is hope. you may be wondering something like "un pala eh, then why didnt you go for her rather than put in all that stuff abt ur current SO and ranting and stuff" or some other comment. to those who will read this and come up with that thought, i tell you this: pls refer to the heading of my journal site. nuff said.and so i go on... the thing is, im not an optimistic person. im more of a practical and straighforward if somewhat fatalistic guy. what will be will be. thats itlest not get your hopes up for nothing. always remember, 'the higher you fly, the harder your arse is going to hit terra firma wen your wings do give out'. its not being pessimistic. its facing the truth.

'i have been fucked over by guys for no apparent reason" : thus i rest my case to my entry'fucked up bastard'. guys become such for the very reason that they 'got it' from some other femme fetale (or otherwise delusional person). it is unfortunately a cruel and very viscious cycle. be thankful it was just some comment or other. i remember watching a show wherin the guy got back to girls by infecting them with the HIV virus because some girl gave it to him. true, society is cruel in putting up demants and sets the norms. kinda makes you wonder.. WTF?!? (what the fuck). well, society is only as sick as the people who make it up (and unfortunately, there are a lotta sick bastards and bitches out there in the world. dont believe me? ill give you a list).

well as another log closes, i leave you with this. when you go out the door and face the ungodly and inhuman beast called society, that apprehension nibbling at the back of your mind? its called BOHICA (Bend Over Here It Comes Again) 

no no no.. before anything comes to mind like 'oh, its another sob assed entry..' or some other bull shit, forget about it. im simply going to vent some steam and let some inner demons out since its already getting crowded inside. so, to those who's interest wil be piqued, any and all statements entered here are the opinions of the owner so, if you have a violent reaction or such, simply put, you can go bugger yourself. to the matters at hand, i read in an earlier entry here in the community that the perfect guy is gay. i have to agree with you. for those who know me (murderman) wait til the end, i have yet to state my case. of course some females would consiedr the perfect man to be gay. he dresses well, he looks/smells good, knows what to say, and all that crap. in other words, he's been fucked up by the female gender (HOLY SHIT, THE CATS OUTTA THE BAG!!!!) not the entirety, mind you, but someone along the way.  thus the reason why some guys look badly upon such people. (oh shit, im digging a deep hole for myself.. well, fuck it, the doors are open n the boys wanna come out and play). theres an interesting entry in the Koran, but i wont dabble into it (ive lit enough fires as it is). but being gay is one side of being fucked over by a member of the female gender. the other side are the Testosterone-fuelled bastards that are always being complained about the femmes. You ever wonder how they got to be such? Yep, you in the back, w the beanie cap, you guessed right, screwed by some girl in the distant past. How can i be so sure? here, I once heard a comment from one female to another "the reasons why guys are such bastards are because of girls like you". dnt get me wrong, it was meant as a joke, but the thing is: jokes are always half meant. trust me. straight form the horse's mouth. thus i rest my case. so, if ure of the female orientation and you happen upon this entry and the thought 'this bastard' or some other profane epitheph, well, rest assured, i am but another BASTARD that you girls will eventually complain about if you ever have the chance to know me (though we can never say truly). Bitter? nope. angst ridden? nope. revenge? uh uh. plain and simple, ive jst been fucked too much over by too much females. why you may ask? BECAUSE IM TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING NICE GUY!

before i forever damn myself in the eyes of the purveyors of this entry within this community, i leave you with an interesting conversation between Spongebob n Plankton during one episode i happened upon..

Sponge bob: how do i assert myself?

Plankton: you cant. youre too nice. Only agressive people get ahead in life, not nice people.

Spongebob: i know, how about agressively nice people?!?

(there is no such thing as agressively nice people, they became extinct earlier than the dodo bird...)

nuff said...

i had spent the really long weekend wondering WTF(what the fuck) is going on iside my (supposedly) SO's mind. i mean, 3 weeks into her asking time for herself and im stil wondering if there's an end in sight to this excercise is stupidity and futility.. My best friend asked me why not scare her into realization or something.. I had thought about it actually (half a hundred times or so, each one more brutal than the other) and decided on a short reprive of sorts.... yep, il let her stew first in her own juices before i even do something (this decision being partly consideration, brought about my being cursed as a nice guy, and partly bec i think it will give me ample time to properly plot what im going to do to her). Dont get me wrong, im not some sicko who gets his rocks off scaring women, its just that, the human psyche can only take so much torment, and im not so nice as to dish out a little retribution in return. Whats that..? Im in a relationship, so i should be kind and loving to the other person? Yeah, well, that was back in a time that i wasnt 'stabbed in the heart while being smiled at' and i am only human.. of sorts.. hehe. Besides, who ever said that we live in a perfect world?